Ivan Braginski
by IheartItaly
Summary: The Story about Russia's son, Ivan from Hetalia Nect Countries! Ivan doesn't wish to become like his father, but then the boy is faced with a fear he cannot escape. He begins to realize that is is like his father more than he expected. But that's not the only trouble the boy faces. The War with his Aunt Ukraine is only making the family worse. What can Ivan do?
1. Chapter 1

I could only stare at my father is fear and disbelief.

"W-what?" I could hardly speak the word. My father nodded and gave me his unreadable smile.

"Da. I want you to go down to that thicket and kill a deer with your hands," he told me as he pointed towards the field and nodded to my hands. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words would come. Not even a sound. I look towards the thicket and saw a few deer in the distance, then a looked down at my gloved hands. I had to KILL a deer with my own BARE HANDS!

"Don't you have a rifle? Couldn't you kill it at this distance?" I said "You" because I didn't want him to think that I wanted to be part of it. Deers were innocent and I knew I could never bring myself to kill them, rifle or not.

Honestly, I didn't think my father wanted me to do this. He told me we were going hunting, so I had assumed that he would be the one doing all the killing besides me. But here we are, standing beside the fence that kept deer away from the road and my father wanting me to do something so terrible! In all honesty, I hated killing. I only said that I enjoyed it to make my father pleased with me, but now I was about to scream out my fear of it. I knew that if I did, though, my father would be displeased with me and think of me as a coward.

I gulped as I looked up at his purple, expressionless eyes. I didn't want to do it. I could never have the heart.

"You want to make me happy, Ivan?" My father finally asked. I tried smiling.

"Oh, yes, Sir. I do. More than anything. But-"

"Then doing as I say, and killing deer. Da?"

"But...it's innocent!" I finally spoke my fear. I could tell that I made him a bit upset with me, because his smile slowly faded as if he was trying to understand my reluctance. He patted me on the head.

"Ivan," he began slowly as he shook his head, "do you wanting to eat tonight?" I wasn't quite sure I understood his question.

"Well, yes, Sir. But the deer...I can't kill it," I felt a mixture of sadness and shame as I admitted my weakness to him. I guess he didn't hear or ignored the last part because he continued.

"I brought you out here so you can training yourself to fight and defend for yourself when I am not around." He bent down a little so we could meet eyes and put his hands on my shoulders. I could tell he was about to tell me something important so I forced myself to listen.

"I could be gone one day. I needing you to rule Mother Russia one day. It is an important duty and also your responsibility. If you don't start fighting for it now then I am afraid that you will never be ready." I still wanted to protest.

"But it's innocent! I doesn't cause harm to anyone!" I saw my father's face turn into a bit anger.

"Ivan," he said sternly, "nothing is too innocent. I had to learning that the hard way." Before I reacted, he pulled me into an embrace and started stroking my hair like he always does.

"You must learning this. I needing your help one day and I can't afford for you to be like this. Someday, you are to be leader. And if you don't accept it..." he couldn't finish and sighed. Still, he continued on.

"I can't let other countries take over us. Not like they did to me. We are survivors, Ivan. And we can't be losers. This is being part of your training, Ivan. You must do this. For our people, for me,...for Russia. Now show me how strong you can be." He pushed me at arms length so we could meet eyes again. I sighed.

"Alright," I mumbled, even though I didn't want to make any promises. He smiled, obviously I could tell that he was happy again.

"Good boy. Now go," he said as he patted me on the shoulder and nudged me to the other side of the fence. I wish I could find a way to resist the need to obey his wishes with the stroking. I didn't sign up for this job, and I certainly didn't want it.

As I made my way to the thicket, I could see a few deers enjoying their graze and obviously oblivious to my presents. I crawled through the bushes and trees that surrounded the thicket and did the best I could to hide. Then I heard a twig snap and knew that I was the one who caused it. The deers heads shot up from the ground in alarm. I tried to remain still and tried to control my heavy and nervous breathing. One of the bucks was interested in my hiding place and walked over. He must have been curious about who or what was in the bushes.

I wanted to shout to make him go away, but at the same time I couldn't. As the buck started sniffing around in the bushes I was hiding in, I...started drooling. I don't know why! I suppose I could taste the deer meat and it was becoming to over power me.

Then I felt something new inside of me. Determination? Anger? Eagerness? I couldn't describe it, but it took over my feelings completely. I could smell the deer meat already, and it was making me very hungry. I couldn't control anything now. Everything inside of me was screaming something different. One side of me was screaming to kill it so you can eat and another side was telling me to kill as if it was an enemy. And the last part of me screamed the loudest. It was telling me to stop and just walk away, not to harm it. But I guess I had all kinds of emotion running through me because I began to feel angry and confused. So without knowing why...I sprang and wrapped my hands around the buck's neck and pinned him to the ground!

The deer jumped and scattered away quickly in both alarm and fear. I had the buck completely in my grasp and I yanked and pulled and choked the poor thing. But all I could think about was destroying it.

"Ivan!" I finally heard my father's call to me and I snapped out of my cruel trance. I gazed up at my father. He held a surprised expression.

"Ivan, you killed it. Relax, it's ours for the taking now." I forced myself to look down at my kill. I quickly removed my hands from the buck's neck. I looked down at my trembling hands. I stood up on my unsteady legs. I was so shocked, I didn't know how to react. My father, however, looked pleased.

"You charged at it in full power. You didn't holding anything back," he was beginning to get excited. "You didn't even thinking twice! You took it down like it was noting! Like it was nothing to you! You completely surprising it!" He smiled as he bent down by the corpse and looked up at me in pride. But I didn't want to meet his gaze, to make him feel proud. I feel to my knees and trembled all over.

Father slung the carcass over his shoulder and put his arm on my shoulder. He spoke, but I wondered if it was more to himself.

"Such strength! You could kill anyone like that. Coming at them when they least expected. What a son! He'll making fine ruler!" he began to walk away. It was only then did I dare start crying silently to myself. All at once, I hated deer meat, its smell, its dead carcass slung over my father's shoulder. The taste was bitter and I no longer wanted to look at it. I buried my face in my hands and hardly noticed my father calling me to follow him back home. I didn't want him to see my face.

"So proud of yourself that you started crying?" came his voice. Then he laughed, "It'll pass, Ivan. It'll pass." Was he sick or something?! How could I ever be proud of killing?!

Then I felt anger, even a bit hatred for my father. I wanted to run away. In fact, maybe I will do that.


	2. Chapter 2

My father and I returned home, but we were taken by surprise when we found my Aunt Ukraine had been waiting for us. Ukrania was with her too. My father frowned and laid the fresh carcass I killed on the kitchen table.

"What do you wanting?" he asked her in a grumpy voice, which was surprising to hear.

"Brother, I think it's time we sat down and had a talk," Aunt Ukraine said, the worry in her eyes.

"Not much to be talking about. Just let me know when you wanting to surrender."

"We don't have to fight anymore. We can talk about this."

"You not wanting to talk," Father said, the same tone of voice. Aunt Ukraine shook her head.

"Of course I want to talk to you! If only you would listen to me, Brother."

Father said nothing and walked away to the study room, followed by a load slam that made me jump. Aunt Ukraine, despite the obvious hint that Father didn't want to talk to her, followed him into the room and closed the door. I could hear Father shouting and Aunt Ukraine begging for him to listen to her. It was a little embarrassing and awkward to hear them, especially with my younger cousin Ukrania being along with me.

I have only meet her once, along with my other cousin Nicholi when we were both kids. I haven't spoken to or seen them since then, which made it even more awkward. But I decided to start a conversation with her anyway.

"So...have you been well?" She only nodded her response. We didn't know what to say to each other.

"I apologize for my Father's behavior. I wish they would both make up already. I'm hating all this fighting they do."

"Da...I do too. Mother always said how she and Uncle Russia grew up around a bad environment. But it just isn't fair!" Ukrania said. I felt sorry for her, so I gave her a hug. No matter how awkward it may have been for the both of us. She hugged me too, which kind of surprised me.

Earlier this year, Father has been on edge because Aunt Ukraine has started a revolution for her independence to be separated from him. Aunt Belarus has been involved too, which is starting to worry me. I knew that because of my father's persistence on my becoming leader that my two cousins would think that I was selfish like him. But I wanted to show them that I was different and that I would be there for them if they ever needed it.

I guess I made her feel better because Ukrainia started smiling.

"Thank you, Ivan. I think I feel a bit better now. But I never thought you would...you know, hugging me."

"I just want to be there for you. I understaning this completely. I know it is not fair to you, but it's not fair for me too. My Father wants me to lead this country, but it's not what I want if it means I have to be away from everyone I caring about. To be honest, I wanting my Father to understand who I wanting to be."

"And who do you want to be exactly?"

"Me. I wanting to be myself and different than him. If only he could see that, I'd be more happy around him. That carcass you see on the table, I killed it with my bare hands and all my Father did was smile about it!" I could feel my anger returning and my hands began to shake.

"I don't know what came over me! I just...killed that innocent thing!" I began sobbing and turned away from Ukrainia and the dead deer. I couldn't look at either of them. I lost my appetite for deer meat an hour ago, and I still didn't want to eat it.

I must have startled Ukrania, because she began to back away from me with fear in her eyes. Even I felt scared, and confused, and angry at the same time.

It was then that the door to the study room opened and Aunt Ukraina looked as if she was going to cry.

"Come along, Ukrania," She said, putting an arm around her daughter's shoulder. She turned to me.

"I'm so sorry, Ivan. I'm so sorry," and she turned away and out the door. My heart was heavy and I decided that it was time to run away. Something in my heart told me that running away wouldn't solve anything and make things worse, but my anger was too great to cease. I slipped out the door and into the cold afternoon.


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't care where I was going, just as long as it was far away from my father. Snow could slow you down if you were not used to it, but I was born in weather like this so it wasn't too much of a problem for me.

The air was quiet and cold, but I was used to it. The sky was gray as well.

I had to hide somewhere until all of this cooled down, but where could I go? I could go to Aunt Ukraine's, but I'm sure some of her citizens wouldn't like the idea of a Russian dictator around. I could go to Aunt Belarus, but I doubted anyone would want me there, especially Nicholi. I didn't want to go visit any of my friends and be a burden to them. So what could I do? I had no other choice but to find a hiding place.

I ran through one of the city streets when I heard a familiar voice.

"Ivan!"

I turned around and saw Amelia. What on Earth was she doing here?

"Amelia? Why are you here?" Amelia was America's daughter, and she acted like him too. I meet her while chasing after a man named Yao only months ago.

"I wanted to see you, Ivan. Well, that's only part of the truth. I want to help you with the dispute with your family."

What did she say? She came all the way here to get involved in my family's affair? What was up with the Americans?

I didn't want to be rude and just chase her away, but I also didn't want to show her that I was angry.

"Amelia, I understand that you and your father wanting to help. But this doesn't involving you. You should just going home." She hung her head.

"I know Ivan. But you know that your Aunt and my Dad are friends now. And I can't just sit around and let this continue. I want you to have peace."

"This is none of your business, Amelia. You can't decide this. You understand the danger if you and your father helping us?"

"But I-"

"Nyet, Amelia! Now please, just leave us alone!" I ran away from her, not looking back or apologizing for my outburst. I knew I probably hurt her feelings, and I really did feel bad about that. But I also knew I was right, and she did too but tried to ignore it.

I didn't see where I was going but I didn't care. I just had to get away.

I stopped to catch my breath and rested my hand to a huge rock. In doing so, ice covered the rock and I stepped back in surprise. Where did that come from?

I looked down at my hands and realized that they where cold, even with my gloves. I backed away from the rock and bumped into a tree. I turned around put my hand to the tree, which then turned to ice as well.

"What's going on?" I wondered out load. I heard a twig snap and I turned around to see Nicholi.

"Ivan? What did you do?"

"I...I don't knowing. Whatever I touch turns to ice."

"You're dangerous!" Nicholi said as he began to back away with a fearful look on his face.

"Nyet, I didn't meaning any of this!" I tried to tell him, but he wouldn't listen to me.

"You're just liking Uncle Russia! Stay away from me!" He ran away from me, but I chased after him.

"Nicholi, coming back! Don't running away, please!" I tripped over a tree root and stumbled to the snowy ground. When I looked up, I couldn't see any sign of my cousin.

"What am I?" I asked myself, looking down at my hands again and I felt fear.

I suppose I fell asleep afterwords because the next thing I knew it was getting dark. I still haven't found a place to stay safe. I heard growling coming from behind me and I saw wolves surrounding me.

I picked up a fallen branch and scraped a rock across the edge, making it light up with fire. The wolves saw me do this and back away some, but they didn't leave me alone. They growled and barked at me, making me feel desperate enough to do whatever was necessary to get away. In fact, that's what I did. I tossed away the torch at a wolf and it ran off with its tail between its legs.

I sprang at one of the wolves without understanding why and choked it to the ground. The other wolves got scared and ran away, leaving their companion in my hands.

When I realized that I had attacked the animal, it was already dead. I feel to my knees and held my head. Then I screamed.

What was happening to me? Why couldn't I control my desire to kill? I had no answers, and I didn't feel comfortable being alone. So I got reckless, and risked it all with my Aunt Ukraine.

I dragged myself miserably over to her house and knocked on her door.

Aunt Ukraine boobs bounced as she approached and opened the door and she was surprised to see me.

"Ivan? What brings you here?"

"I'm sorry. I do not wishing to be burden on you and Ukrania, but I needing a place to stay for tonight. Maybe for a while."

"But what about your father? Can't you go back home?"

"I...I don't wanting to go home. I had enough of my Father praising for the bad things I doing. Please, Aunt Ukraine. Just tonight?"

She stared at me a long time. A worried look appeared on her face.

"Ivan, there's something going on more than just not wanting to be with your father, is there?"

I turned away from her, ashamed to admit it. But I gave a reluctant nod. She embraced me close, and I could tell that she was going to cry again.

"Oh, Ivan. I'm so sorry that this had to happen to you."

"Aunt Ukraine, do you know what's going on with me?" I could feel that she nodded her head.

"Yes, Ivan. You've inherited your father's fear" I looked up at her.

"Can the same fear be inherited?"

"I don't know, but I can see it in your eyes. Your father had the same look when he was growing up."

Now I felt like crying. I didn't want to be like my Father, but I was indeed becoming him. I buried my face to her chest.

"Come inside," Aunt Ukraine said as she led me inside her house. "Go sit by the fire. It may making you feel better" I did what she said, but even though the flame was warm, I felt as if I couldn't feel it.

Aunt Ukraine sat down next to me a moment later, with a try of hot coca. But I didn't touch it.

"It...It's not fair, Aunt Ukraine! It's just not fair!" I managed to say before breaking down into tears.

"I know, Ivan. I know," she said softly as she rubbed my head and held me close.


	4. Chapter 4

I wanted to get back home early the next day before Father worried. I didn't want things to get any worse if he found out I was gone.

I ate a quick breakfast, but I felt uncomfortable with Ukrania sitting quietly in front of me at the table. She has been quiet ever since Aunt Ukraine agreed to let me stay last night. I wanted to say something to her, but I didn't know how to begin. I knew that she was probably still shocked by seeing the deer I killed the day before.

Aunt Ukraine gave me a hug and told me if I ever needed anything I was always welcome to stay with her. I had to admit, Aunt Ukraine was sweet, besides the fact that she cried almost all the time. I waved goodbye and quickly made a run back home. The sun was beginning to make its appearance on the horizon.

I made it home within the hour, and I climbed through my bedroom window. I quickly kicked off my boots and stuck them beside my bed. I took off my scarf and gloves, setting them on my lamp desk. I then jumped in bed and threw the blanket over myself. I was suppose to be asleep.

A few seconds later, I heard boots approach the door. It creaked open and I heard Father's voice.

"Ivan? Are you awake?" I swallowed hard and began to sweat. I slowly pulled the blanket away from my face.

"D...Da," I answered shakily. Father looked concerned.

"Are you not feeling well? You didn't come down to dinner last night."

"Oh!" I said and thought 'Idiot' to myself. I forgot about dinner last night and thought that it probably would've been better if I stayed home for dinner and then make my escape. But I didn't think about it, and now I felt cornered. "Um...Da, I'm feeling very bad."

"I checked up on you last night, but...I didn't seeing you in your bed." Crap! Father was already onto me. I had to come up with an excuse quick.

"Uh, I was...uh. Out for a walk. I thought it might help my, uh...headache."

"I see. Well, you should have some breakfast, I'm betting you are hungry."

"Nyet, I'm not hungry," I said. Maybe I shouldn't have said that, because he came over and sat on the side of my bed. He put his hand to my head, and I realized that he wasn't wearing his gloves. Strange, he always did.

Oh, but his hands! They were freezing cold and I felt the memory of my turning everything into ice. I tried to hide my face. I didn't want him to suspect anything.

"You don't looking sick and you feeling fine. Are you hiding something, Ivan?" I could tell he was very suspicious. I eagerly shook my head, trying to hide my worried face. I didn't like him so close to me. He was going to find out, I just knew it!

It was like I was getting smelled by a dog who knew there was something different about me. Father was watching me closely.

"You are not yourself, Ivan. I'm not liking it."

I didn't answer him.

"You'll probably feel better when you getting up. You should probably getting early start," he said as he got up and walked to my door.

"Okay, I'll be up in a few minutes," I told him, trying to buy time to think.

"Nyet, Ivan. You're getting up now," he said as he opened the door and left it open as he walked out. Double crap. What was I going to do now?

I couldn't help but drag over my studies that later morning, my Father was watching me like a hawk watches wounded pray. He knew there was something going on with me. I had to come up with an excuse to get away from him, but what? I decided to play innocent.

"Um, I have to go to the restroom," I quickly got up and walked to the door, but father got there first and he was blocking the door.

"Where are you running off to, Ivan?"

"The restroom?" I could tell by his 'innocent' smile that he wasn't buying what I was saying.

"You are in middle of a lesson, you know that I don't allow you to leave until you finish your studies. You have been avoiding me," he sang the last sentence, making me feel hot and sweaty again.

"I...I have?" I continued to act innocent. Father only nodded. He then grew serious and crossed his arms, staring at me with a suspicious raised eyebrow.

"I...haven't noticed," I lied. It was my intention to avoid him.

"Why did I not seeing you in your room last night?"

"I went out for a walk."

"Nyet, you were gone. You were nowhere in the country," he said to me, his expression not changing.

"Well...I...I was," I started backing away from him, he walked towards me. I backed into the wall, he slammed he hands to the wall, forcing me to stay where I was with his hands next to my head. I stared at him in horror. He was searching me. I suddenly started to feel guilt.

Then, before I could react, he slapped me hard. It made my eyes sting, but I didn't dare cry in front of him. His face held a darker look and his voice sounded furious, instead of calm.

"You lied to me, Ivan. I could see it in your eyes. You ran away and stayed the night with Ukraine."

"Nyet!" I said, before I could think. His face was closer to mine.

"Don't lying to me! Tell me the truth, Ivan!"

"...D...Da," I couldn't hide the truth from him any longer. He looked as if he was suffering from a headache.

"Why? WHY?!"

"I...I don't wanting you and Aunt Ukraine to fight anymore! I left because...because," He didn't let me finish.

"Ivan! You running away because it proves you are a coward! You don't deserve to living in this house anymore!" I was surprised by his words, but he was serious. He picked me up and I knew for sure that he was going to throw me out of the house, literally.

As he carried me out of the study room, I could see the Baltics wanted to help, but didn't dare do anything. I begged my Father to ground me instead, but he stayed firm to his words.

He opened the door and dropped me in the cold snow. I was shocked and hurt. I could see, however, that my Father was hurt as well.

"I wish you didn't do this to yourself, Ivan. I'm sorry." He closed the door and I knew that I was forbidden to walk back into the place I called home again. I never once believed that I would ever get thrown out of my house because of a certain conflict, but here I was.

Then my phone vibrated and I received a message from May.

"Ivan, I thinking there is trouble. We are going to needing your help. Our parents are having a conference meeting soon. Please get here as soon as you can," I read out loud. Trouble? Was she serious? Why would she ask me to attend? Wasn't my Father unwelcome to meetings like those?

I didn't want to be rude and not attend, but I looked down at my hands and frowned.

"They must never knowing about what has happened to me." I turned back to my once home with a sad look. I was coming back someday. I had to make amends with my Father, but for now I was thinking it would be best if I left here for a while.

Ivan End


End file.
